The Economy still hasn't hit bottom yet...

Today is Sunday 19 April--and no, the Economy still hasn't hit bottom yet....

If you look around, you'll see that things have changed--slightly in some cases, more so in others.

Last year the cost of homes was a bit higher perhaps than it is today--however, those homes that were on sale last year, might still be on the market, or may have sold for far less than the owners would have wanted.

The nuances of what "change" means, is getting difficult to sort out.

I know that some changes that often come to mind are for job security, being able to pay one's mortgage, being able to pay one's bills, being able to afford "extra" things, not necessarily luxury things.

Change can also mean an adjustment to a different standard of living, spending, doing things.

The other day I went to the US Post office to mail a large envelope, and the postal clerks were talking to each other and to some of us who were customers at that time.

A woman sleeps in the lobby of the post office each night--after the building closes for business for the day. She comes in, goes toward a corner that can't be seen from the door (in the part of the building where P.O. key boxes are located, sort of hides herself and her stuff behind/in a huge garbage can, and then goes to sleep.

The Postal employees describe her as being in her mid fifties, clean, polite, and a victim of circumstances.

I wonder what her circumstances have been that she is alone, and sleeping in the Post Office lobby?

Some of the postal employees took up a collection of some cash for her around Christmas time.

Again, I wonder--how does one wind up in such a circumstance--how does a person become homeless. Alone. Without property, without possessions.

Several weeks ago, I visited my daughter at her university in a City several hours away from home. We did a few things during the day, one of those things being a trip to a nearby Starbucks for some coffee.

This Starbucks was a bit different than others I've been in, yet, I imagine that it's not all that different after all, just that the homeless people who occupied a couple of tables, plus a chair or two, were there, meaning that they were there and not somewhere else, while we who are not homeless, were there too, during the day time.

At least one difference too--these homeless were not clean, they were scruffy and dirty looking. They were wearing numerous layers of clothing; their hands and faces were dirty with sooty looking black stuff, their clothes were dirty too. And, they used the restroom at the Starbucks which made at least one very clean looking woman decide to find another restroom to use--somewhere else.

Over the years, I recall seeing Bag-Ladies in restrooms in train stations, in supermarkets, in department stores, attempting to take care of their personal needs and grooming. I remember too that "other" people using the facilities gave them lots of room.

Then too, some years ago, I also remember seeing a woman lower her pants in a corner of NYC's Penn Station to urinate and defecate in plain view of the hordes of people who were passing through to their trains.

While I have been very fortunate to never have gone without the basics that I assumed were necessary for my standard of living, I can't help but wonder about how the homeless "manage" their lives. The people in the Starbucks seemed to have some connection with each other, possibly some kind of helping arrangement. Maybe I just want them to be helping each other.

I know that I can't fix the world, I can't even help the few random people who approach me to beg when I go to these places where the homeless inhabit open spaces, and public spaces.

Always though I wonder, how close am I to this kind of life. Could it happen to me someday--to my family, to my children. What would I do?

Lila

Friday: 17 April 09

I'm intimidated by the blank space. I'm drawing a blank--can't seem to break through it.

Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day to write.

Lila

April Showers Tax Day 2009 April 15

I went to CNN.com today to look around, and clicked on a You Tube link to a British show, a talent show, that featured one contestant named Susan Boyle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnmbJzH93NU

I hope that the link works--this woman has an incredible voice.

Well worth taking some time to look at.

Lila

PS The post office was crowded today with people sending their tax forms off.

Monday 13 April 09

...continuing....have you ever wondered about how you personally take up space in the world?

I suppose I'm wondering about space as a matter of cubic centimeters, cubic yards, cubic anything. what is the volume of the air, the practical space that I live in, work in, use up, throw away...

It's not just the "green" movement, I've always thought about these things. So why is it relevant? Why now? Truthfully, I'm not sure except that I'm sitting in a room that's full of my "things", and these "things" aren't even a lot of my "things".

Got to go--I'll be back...

Lila

On The Beach....Easter Sunday 12 April 2009

I went to a Spring Festival at a coastal town over the weekend.

There wasn't much there besides the usual touristy local crafts stuff, none of it really worth bothering over, at least not for me, except the one table, where two women were collecting money for a raffle for a framed painting of some sort, the proceeds to go toward care bundles for women going through treatment for Breast Cancer surgery, and Chemo.

I gave a donation, and asked them to please remember that there are other kinds of "woman" cancers out there--other reproductive cancers that strike women, and that perhaps those women too would appreciate such support.

A couple of years ago I presented a short paper at a roundtable session at a conference that I went to about how there was no t-shirt for my cancer. And there really isn't, not that there "should" be, rather, I think sometimes that with the incredible emphasis on Breast Cancer, as a "cause", that other kinds of diseases, and other kinds of cancers, sometimes become forgotten.

Today there was a short CNN news item about Farah Fawcett, and her struggle with Anal Cancer. About the "stigma" for such cancers of the anal, rectal, colon, and how she is hospitalized right now.

While I can't empathize with her pain, I can empathize with the sense of fear, and uncertainty that she is likely to experience.

I wish her the very best, and would also like to understand this idea of a so-called stigma for a cancer--certainly there's no stigma for "cancer", and to potentially imply that there should be any stigma, is cruel, and totally unkind.

The CNN article cited that some of the risk factors for that kind of cancer make it an uncomfortable topic for patient and doctor alike.

Think about how unreasonable that whole idea is--a person's life is at stake, and the Doctor is uncomfortable with the exam, the cancer? How is a patient supposed to feel?

Also that the idea of HPV is somehow connected, therefore, the Gardasil vaccine might be useful? as a preventive vaccine?

THAT's worth looking into!

Lila

Thursday 9 April 09 Thursday

Thursday. that means that we have only Friday and Saturday before going home again.

It's been a very nice few days to be away from it all, and "all" includes being away from the internet.

While I love being able to go all sorts of virtual places via my computer, I also enjoy the time that i haven't done anything with the computer. Also fine. No withdrawal, no hard times thinking about the computer and what I could be doing there.

I will admit to thinking that I have more time in my day to do things when I don't have the computer to distract me.

Today I went with my husband to find a spot where we both could work for a short while. He needs to do it for his job. I'm "here" because I wanted to be.

The beach is not the shore. Two different things. Two different mentalities that do not cross paths.

The beach is less active than the shore is. The shore is a place where the "young" often go, and do things that are sort of rites of passage; the beach is a bit more passive--you sit on the beach, you watch the surf, you read, you knit, you listen to the wind. At the shore you also watch the surf, you read, knit, and listen to the wind, but you also listen to the radio, the people, you seek to connect with others who are likely also looking for people to meet. it's a more active social environment than the beach....one relaxes in two different ways, either shore, or beach....

The weather here has been cold. Cold yet wonderfully sunny at times; not too cold to walk along the edge of the surf to find seashells, sharks' teeth, and other things cast up by the waves.

Lila

Saturday 4 April 09

We're off to the beach tomorrow! I can hardly wait!

The first thing that anyone who's going to the beach ought to do before going, is to figure out what kinds of things are necessary to occupy time. Not the usual things--other things--the kinds of things that you get to do that could be mistaken for leisure activities.

So what's your leisure? what do you desire to do? what would you like to do? when will you get to do it?

What do people do when they go to the beach? what's different about beach time than one's ordinary time?

I knit. I read. I crochet. I read. I take pictures. I used to bring things to study while sitting on the beach. That was a fairly long time ago, almost 18 years ago...still, I could do it again--study that is...and I do. So what should I study? Knitting is as good a topic as any, so why not. I suppose that there could be other things too, and so I'll still have to find those things too, and that's also a good thing to still be searching for the next thing that I want to do, need to do, am going to do...

If we stop doing things, or imagining the future for the kinds of possibilities that might exist, then we lose initiative. Initiative is always important, although I'm not sure it's the same as motivation.

One of my students in an earlier term wanted to know why he was different than his siblings. Why did he have the drive, the motivation, the desire to be different. What made him relatively successful in his life compared to his siblings, and relatives.

I've heard similar things from others.

I have some thoughts about their particular plights, still, am not yet willing to say my piece. At least not for the moment.

Back again! Friday 3 April 09

I stumbled across an old, bad, science fiction movie. It takes place in a beatnik coffee house, and shows beatnik poets reciting (stuff that was supposed to pass for poetry?) in a rather disaffected odd way. "Art" was supposed to be happening.

I wonder if the beatnik coffee houses and poetry sessions were the predecessors for the blogs of today.

Lila

Friday afternoon: 3 April 09

I suppose that I might consider posting some pictures here--maybe.

I like pictures--pictures and words both serve descriptive purposes--yet, to use pictures sometimes means that the words might not follow. Or, perhaps the words aren't necessary?

Or perhaps the words are insufficient? Or superfluous?

The movie Fargo is spare in its use of words--instead, it paints images in stark backgrounds, and
spares the observer from all but the most necessary of words, and sounds.

One of the more interesting uses of sound is in one of the most grisly scenes--when the blonde killer is putting his partner in crime through the wood chipper--we hear the sound, and even though we don't really see the body, we hear the wood chipper struggle to grind up the leg of the victim--all of this against the background of silence, and white snow as the killer tries to run away from Marge, the pregnant sheriff, who fires at him with a small pistol.

The sound, and the noise, and the background, are all very specifically intended--and each contributes to the complete part of the picture in the scenes that we see. To remove any one of these features would diminish the story, and the impression that is intended.

Life is also a series of scenes--and scenes in life are also constructed in ways similar to how they are put together in movies in that they too are intentional, and convey specific meaning.

We remember these scenes, and what we remember influences what we do "next". "Next" need not be immediate--it can be years down the life-line. Nonetheless, the scenes have had their profound impact upon our consciousness, and therefore they help direct the actions that we take in our future.

Lila

Friday 3 April 2009

Yesterday's gray has turned into more gray today except that today's gray has some spots of sun!

And thunder! How wonderful to have a wonderful thunderstorm!

Not that I'm forever going to keep talking about the weather, yet, I find that the weather has something about it that intrigues me....

I'm gone for now--will be back later!

Lila

The end of today, 2 April 2009, a Tuesday

Today has been a long day--even though it's been totally gray, all day, it's been a wonderful day full of the kind of beautiful things that happen only in spring time.

All over the area there are trees in bloom. All of the flowering trees, in whites, pinks, and just a few starting to show their leaves. The Forsythia are in bloom, and I suspect that it's going to be just a short time before the tulips start to flower.

There are daffodils in bloom everywhere, the hyacinth are coming out too. I expect that before very long, the trees will have their leaves.

Farther south, the azelea are already in bloom. I expect to see the azelea next week when we go to the ocean in North Carolina. I'm looking forward to it.

I've been reading quite a bit lately, some of it on my Kindle, and some in the "old fashioned" way, in books. I'm thrilled with the Kindle because it allows me the flexibility of owning some books without the burden of taking up square footage in my small office, or in the rest of the house.

I suppose that sometime soon I'll start doing some book critiques in this space--or perhaps a listing of the books that catch my attention. And the movies too--I love both books and movies, and have less time than I'd like for them. I also like to do some other things too, knitting for one thing, yet I'm not about to post a knitting blog! I love to see what others are knitting, I'm just not quite as speedy as those dedicated people may be, so why post things that go so slowly.

For the moment, I have several books going--and also several knitting projects. I need to work on all of them.

Today has been a good day, so now I'll come to a close.

Lila

yet another day!

It's another day! Think about that!

In our lives, we only have a limited number of days, so every new day is a blessing!

Yesterday I watched an episode of the HBO special on John Adams. I hadn't realized that his daughter died from breast cancer.

Consider that in those times, Nabby, as she was called, underwent mastectomy surgery without anasthesia. The scene showed her being given a small flask of something to drink--probably laudanum--as her sole pain reliever. The scene also showed the doctor wielding a huge curved blade, undoubtedly the surgical instrument, that would have been used to cut away her breast, quickly one would hope. She was given also a padded stick of some sort to clench between her teeth--to help her endure the pain of the surgery which was accomplished while she was conscious.

Times have changed--we do have anesthesia--we do have pain medicines--yet, the fact remains--the disease is still with us too.

Nabby's initial cancer was removed; it returned. She died. A sad story that continues to happen to too many women in our own time.